why i run marathons.

Maybe it's in the sensation of a slight breeze cooling my sweat glazed skin. Maybe it's an excuse to listen to The Killers repetitiously on Scout. (Scout is my iPod.) Or maybe I just really enjoy excruciating pain, both mentally and physically. Why do I run marathons? Why do I run at all?

I run because it's cheaper than therapy. I run because it's free. I run because it makes my jeans that I wore when I was twenty fit me right now. I run because I can. I run because it reminds me of how unbelievable the human body really is. I run because it is a challenge for me. I run because God gave me the ability to. I run because it raises money for credible charities. I run because I like wearing my Ironman watch and appearing as if I actually know of its capabilities. I run so I can buy Runner's World magazine from Barnes&Noble. I run so I can post pictures of myself running on MySpace. I run because it is yet another excuse to travel. I run because I love meeting new people within the running society. I run because it helps my heart to pump blood through my body. I run because I get t-shirts and medals for it, which I will never wear. I run because it means I get to carry candy in my pockets. I run because I got really tired of being that person driving along in my car, passing by an athlete, and thinking to myself, gosh that person is crazy (but secretly wishing I was that crazy person.) I run because now people pass by me in their car, and call me crazy…I like being called crazy. I run because my parents never thought I could or would. I run because Forest did it. I run because I am divorced. I run because I want to be a part of a historical sporting event; to qualify for The Boston Marathon. I run because it means I can eat just about whatever the hell I want. I run because they serve you beer for free on the course. I run because running is fun. I run because I like buying the flashiest running shoes possible and receiving compliments for being such a chic athlete.

But I really do it, for the post shower and post meal. AKA: Heaven on earth. Papadeaux, Starbucks, Chipotle, and Krispy Kreme all within a period of six hours or less. That is some successful nourishment. And there is only one other shower that tops the post race shower. That would be the post, slapping garlic butter on breadsticks at Fazoli's for eight hours every Saturday when I was in college shower. Yes