(Three excerpts on love and single life while living in the Big D.)
Penny: Hopelessly Adoring Mr. Wrong
I had finally reached a definitive height of contentment. A pinnacle of ease. Wanting nothing. Careless. Feeling one hundred percent whole, when he walked into my life(and ruined it of course). I can account for every detail. All persons involved, the activities, time, location, smells, sounds, apparel... I choose to believe I am not alone in this joyous beginning to an inevitably repetitious and tragic relational misfortune. So I asked my beloved friends to join me in reflection… Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Yeah, just keep telling yourself that Penny. Six things I know: 1. Sometimes you have to learn to love what once was, and move on. 2. You can not make someone a priority if they make you an option. 3. If the guy you are seeing does not have even the slightest desire to be intimate with you, he is just keeping you around for comfort. 4. Sometimes the heart can see what the eye cannot. 5. When the dude you are dating tells you he is at the gym, everyday, in three hour shifts, he is probably dating someone else, and not telling you. 6. It doesn't matter if you are a loft dweller in the metropolis, or a trailer occupant in the desert, boys are the same breed everywhere.
"If there is any failing in your generation it is selfishness and the fear of commitment." –Mom
"You have to learn to walk. You have to learn to talk. You have to wear that totally ridiculous hat your grandma bought you. And when you get a little older, even though you get to choose your hats, you don't get to choose what they put in those meatballs in the cafeteria, or when to fall in love. Sometimes stuff happens and you just have to deal." –Halley (How to Deal 2003)
"It is not wise to make rash decisions when it comes to boys or cities." -Myself
Tonya: Kissing a Prince
My dating experience has been very versatile while living in Dallas. I left college ending a serious relationship and was in no hurry to get involved in another relationship so soon. I was a single girl living in the BIG city and I loved every "single" minute of it!
"If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night... your friends." CB
And I did…we had the best times! I have been blessed with many amazing friends in my life. I had the most fun meeting new guys and just having a good time. Don't get the wrong impression though…I am a good girl! I am not objected to a few free dinners though ;)
"Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?" CB – HAHAHAHA…this quote makes me laugh…it's such a cliché for women to settle down so soon! There is such a double standard especially when you are from West Texas and most of your friends are married and having babies!!! I say women should go to college…get an amazing job…spend your OWN money however you want (making sure to save)…buy fabulous shoes and pedi's…and just figure out who you are…it will make the rest of your life more rewarding and your future someone will be able to appreciate your independence and self worth.
I think I will look back at this time in my life as being an accomplished, successful young woman living her dream in Dallas, discovering the type of man who fit with me. Not to say that there were times when I thought I had met the right guy and thought I was ready to but in the end God had a better plan! One of my favorite quotes to this day is…
"Never frown because you do not know who is falling in love with your smile…" Unknown
I had to kiss a lot of frogs to find my Prince Charming!
"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are supposed to run wild, until they find someone , just as wild to run with!" CB
So to leave you with a few words of advice that every girl should know…
"….There are those (relationships) that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous."
*Note: Something we can all learn from T…You might go through many a frogs to find a prince. (Penny)
Emmy: Making Him an Honest Man
Welcome to a day in the life of a single girl in the big city. No, this is not some excerpt of another annoying girl complaining about the single life. The single life is fabulous, exciting and full of free drinks, but dealing with the same BS with your typical 20-something year old men (or should I say boys) gets a tad monotonous day after day. My personal belief is that boys under 30 are not capable of committing. After being hit on by married men, hearing older women complain about marriage, and seeing my girlfriends being cheated on, you start to wonder, "Where did all the good guys go?"
So do we hate the player or hate the game? Seriously, I'm not 18…I do not want to play the game anymore. Granted in the beginning of any relationship, or dating situation it's a given you have to play hard to get for the first few weeks, but playing the game for months on end is a tad ridiculous. Women need to be pursued. So often I feel like we do the pursing. These "boys" need to start growing up and become men. What is wrong with saying… "Listen, I like you!" It's really not that hard, and amazingly no one gets hurt by uttering those simple words. I'm not saying these boys need to be at our feet everyday, and it is not like we NEED a boyfriend. It is just the simple fact that we don't like being played. If you are going to date someone else, that's fine, don't be shady, just say it. We are not crazy… You "boys" make us analyze way too much which makes us think way too much, which in turn makes you think that we are crazy. The good girls just want you "boys" who think you can have your cake and eat it too to know that you can't. We would just like to know that you see it going somewhere and aren't going to be played for months on end. Is that really too much to ask??
* AMEN. Kudos to you, Emmy, for the three bolded points above. You saved me from having to write the same tired story. And just one more final addition to that; Men, stop worrying about hurting my "fragile" feelings, and for God's sake just tell me how you really feel. Translation- Stop requiring me to play the fool, so that you can feel better about yourself.
Love doesn't force itself on others,
It isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Understanding will reach its limit,
So hope unswervingly and love extravagantly.
I Corinthians 13
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