It Takes Time to Extract Joy from Life

Ingredient 3


In medicine, hematuria is the presence of red blood cells in the urine. March hematuria occurs when blood is seen in the urine after strenuous exercise, particularly affecting the feet such as running on a hard road for an extended period of time. The repetitive nature of this type of activity causes mechanical trauma to the red blood cells causing them to break open and release hemoglobin into the surrounding fluid. Free hemoglobin released from red blood cells is filtered into the urine. In laymen’s terms, I went for a long run this weekend. Afterwards I went pee and there was blood in my urine. It was either because the constant vibrations initiated by my feet striking the ground put stress on my kidney, actually causing it to leak blood into my bladder. OR I was slightly dehydrated causing the walls of my bladder to rub together and excrete blood. So what gives with the slightly disturbing biology lesson?

It’s pretty sickening, but in a way quite remarkable. We have the uncanny ability to be so determined to accomplish an undertaking regardless the undesirable effects. In part two of this series I talked about the art of racing in the rain. I liken this act of passionate running to the (effortless) “art” of hopelessly chasing the wind.

I spent Thanksgiving week alone this year.
Day three of solitude and only two more days to go. I have caught myself in deep conversation with the cat, routinely checking my phone for messages, and observing dust particles as they float. I feel that I have matured by at least ten years over these past few days. Spend a few days alone and soul searching will surely endure. My time of solitude landing my heart in a much needed position of studying the book of Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes addresses the inevitable human activity of chasing after that which is untamable. Often I feel that I have life set on its course only to find myself knocked backwards by a sucker punch. And it is usually when I am in pursuit of something fruitless… Whether in quest of power, relationship, money, work, pleasure, wisdom, spirituality, or even immortality, our searching or wind chasing is forever futile. It leaves us with a lingering sensation of emptiness and wanting. Chasing after these untamable things always results in this feeling. Even when I am sly enough to capture and maintain one or two of these prestigious idols, I always want more and will always want more.

The Greek translation of the book Ecclesiastes emphatically proclaims all the actions of man to be inherently "vain", "futile", "empty", "meaningless", "temporary", "transitory", or "fleeting," depending on translation. We assume God will take care of those who pursue him. I don’t find this to be the case. We were all designed with desire in mind. I don’t know about you, but this soul is tired of chasing. I believe in God, I believe in His promises. But instead of trusting God for those promises many times I find myself manipulating situations, people, or circumstances to push those promises into reality before their readied time, instead of just trusting. Which I believe, the act of trusting, is what God fully desires from us. Not to say we should just sit back and expect good things to happen, but there is a boundary between manipulating our lives and being a responsible steward. “In moments we are reminded that we have no control over our world. What we can control however is our willingness to seek God in the midst of seeming chaos. We can affirm that life is not tamable but it is purposeful. Strength is found in weakness. Control is found in dependency. Power is found in surrender. Give up the fight to control that which we cannot.” Dan B. Allender

Ecclesiastes 8:16-17 says, “When I determined to load up on wisdom and examine everything taking place on earth, I realized that if you keep your eyes open day and night without even blinking, you'll still never figure out the meaning of what God is doing on this earth. Search as hard as you like, you're not going to make sense of it. No matter how smart you are, you won't get to the bottom of it.” Are you frustrated to the core? Whether you believe in a higher being or not, you are probably doing some chasing yourself and can relate. I have resolved that if I am going to chase after something, I will chase after those who need chasing. There are so many opportunities to love. It takes time to learn. To extract. To share. I beg of you, don’t catch yourself with nothing to show for in this life but a bladder full of blood. It’s just gross, and not worth the effort. I am choosing now to be a chaser of God residing above the sun. And maybe for once, I will try letting something or someone chase me.

Wedding dress by Derek Webb.
If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I’d ever need
or is there more I’m looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I’m a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husbands jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife


*For further reading on this topic I highly suggest, Breaking the Idols of Your Heart: How to Navigate the Temptations of Life by Dan B. Allender.